Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in BlackNightJaguar's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
10:49 pm	Life Lesson #830 "my friend and I were fighter pilots. We came up through the academy together and each earned a reputation for excellence and bravery. However, no one is immune to the vagaries of war. During one battle, my fighter was hit and the main engine was destroyed. Almost immediately I lost control and slammed into my friend's already damaged fighter. Our wings somehow locked and, as one, the ships spiraled to the ground. I was sure we would both be killed. Instead, we became two more living casualties of war. For some reason, we both survived. I only sustained minor injuries. A few burns, easily healed broken ribs. My friend, however, was more seriously hurt. He will never be restored to his normal self." Let me start of by saying that yesterday around six in the afternoon a good friend and myself were in a major accident. Thankfully no one was really hurt or injured. My friend and I were actually the only ones that got hurt and luckily they were minor injuries. (no ambulance ride for me. Thank god!) Truthfully I'm alright... just a little sore and shaken up. The norm. but it lead me to thinking as everything does. What kind of people do you surround yourself with? Who are truly your friend and who are the people that act as your "friend" So in my opinion there are two kinds of people. 1. People that pretend to care and 2. People that truly care People that pretend to care... wow. Truthfully I don't even know were to begin. There are so many more of these kinds of people then I would like to believe but the truth is... most people only care about themselves and ways to better improve themselves. Now don't get me wrong they still are friends and it's important to have friends since this world can get very lonely without them but these are the kinds of people that would push you into on coming traffic if they could get an extra dollar. This is not being dark but it's honesty. It's how people are. Even in a serious situation they find ways to weasel in whatever they really want to say or accomplish. They know how to work people and use their weaknesses to help themselves. Obviously the second one is pretty simple. It means just what it sounds like. They are there when you need them. It doesn't always mean they are there when you want them, but they are the people that you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on. A person you can tell anything too. A person that will back you up, fight for you, and take a bullet for you. Someone that will go to hell and back just to make sure your face smiles again. They will put their life on hold to make sure that you will continue to fight the good fight. They don't look at anything except for who you truly are and what good you can do. They make you become a better person and want to try harder. It's these kind of people that make a difference maybe not for their lives but for the people around them. Those people are hard to come by and they should be cherished. They should be looked at in a high regard. They normally go unnoticed in this world except by the people they have touched. If you know someone like this make sure they know it. It's important. I think there is too much bad in this world and we need to spread the good more often. During and after the car accident my mind kept running with "what if's" and I kept trying to replay the whole thing, which truthfully, is still kind of a blur. This livejournal is because of someone though. Someone in particular. Someone really shocked me. I was trying to stand tall, trying to stay in control but after everything was said and done I became dizzy and fell against my car. I had people asking me if I was alright and words that I wanted to say kept there rightful place in the back of my head and I was able to recover and say what I always say: "I'm fine." I'm sore emotionally and physically. I will continue to live and will always believe it could be worse. I believe we all try to be the second person but I don't think we all accomplish it. It's hard, believe me I know, to put someone before your feelings but to make this world and ourselves better we need to learn how. "Terrible." The young man replied to the officers story. "Your friend was deprived a hero's death and forced to live out the rest of his days as handicapped." The officer looked at the young man in shock, but for only a second. He then held his head high and with a smile replied. "I am happy he is alive." (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
2:23 am	Will you catch me? So I'm stuck in a pickle. Or a bind. Or in mud... quicksand. I'm not really sure what I'm stuck in but as the saying goes I sinking fast. There's this person that's always trying to get close to me but I've never really let that person in because of the fact I don't trust him. It's important to me that I know that my life won't be either taken as a joke or is being told around the world... or at least to the people that mean alot to me. Now this person tells me personal things but then again the next thing out of this persons mouth is "what about you?" great. I know this person lies... so that means I can never really tell when this person is lying or telling me the truth. I just don't want to have to try or even pretend. When this person wants to come clean with me then we might be able to have a friendship. I was really hoping that I was going to have a really good friendship with this person... I wanted to make this person one of my close friends... but I don't see that happening anymore. The person asks me why I don't talk personally and the truth is... I can't trust that my words stay with the two of us. I've explained to him over and over what and how I feel but it just doesn't get through to this person's thick head. Well you win some you lose some. I need to focus on the more important things in my life anyways not someone who, for the time being, means nothing to me. Maybe when things change I can say otherwise but I don't trust this person with my life but if this person ever needed me to protect their life I would be there in a second... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
5:27 pm	It does a body good The cause of one's unhappiness is one's laziness (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 11th, 2006
11:19 pm	Can you see my I.D.? uhh... no Wow, so today was my twenty-first birthday and I have to admit I had a wonderful day. Very quiet, very easy, very nice. I can't believe it! lol. Well, that's about it. Night all. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 27th, 2006
10:16 pm	"how far will the other wing take us?" "All the way to the scene of the crash!" After every flight, Gantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems and document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident! P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. (My favorite) P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. and the best for last............ P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. __________________________________________________________________________ ... that's right you show that midget! lol. Well anyways I took my test and now I'm an orange belt. I know that means alot to you but it means a hell of a lot to me. I didn't even have enough classes to take the test but master Park allowed me to anyways. That man is so amazing. Oh I'm also very excited cause I might be going to Mountain high with two friends from work to snow board. I'm very excited. Honestly that's about it for right now. I love you all and wish you the best. And yes Roey you are an idiot. Stop lying to yourself and get over it. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
5:55 pm	Cheap Bastard Morris and his wife, Esther went to the state fair every year. Every year, Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars." A few years later, Esther and Morris went to the fair. Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter now, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris, that Helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars." The pilot overheard the couple. He said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's 50 dollars." Morris and Esther agreed - and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris. He said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Morris replied, Well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out but 50 dollars is 50 dollars!" ------------- Well I thought that was funny. So what's going on in my life... I'm training to become the electronics team lead which is very cool, and I've also started taking a Tae Kwon Do class. I am having so much fun. Actually I have a test this Wednesday, so I'm nervous but I know I can do it. Well that's about it for right now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 5th, 2006
8:30 pm	Mythology class? So I think this is from my mythology class I took in high school. I like it. It's simple. Wash your head, bathe your body, and wear clothes that are sparkling fresh. Fill your stomach with delicious food. Play, sing, dance and be happy both day and night. Delight in the pleasures that your wife brings you, and cherish the little child who holds your hand. Make everyday of your life a feast of rejoicing! This is the task that the gods have set before all humans. This is the life you should seek, for this is the best life a mortal can hope to achieve. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 3rd, 2006
12:22 am	I make like... six junior bacon cheeseburgers an hour! BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY, seek opportunities to genuinely connect with others, and need to be appreciated. They do everything with quality and are devoted and loyal friends and employers/employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to are their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and will give freely of themselves in order to nurture others lives. BLUES, however, do need to be understood. They have distinct preferences and occasionally the somewhat controlling (but always fair) personality of a confident leader. Their code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation as well as remembering special life events (i.e., birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, nurturing, and can also be self-righteous, a bit worry-prone, and emotionally intense. They are like sainted pit-bulls who never let go of something once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere, make an effort to truly understand them, and truly appreciate them. What Color Are You? brought to you by Quizilla honestly I loved this quiz. I thought this was so cool. Gives me the chills. lol. Oh so I had lunch with the amazing Roey and Barsky the other day. It was so good to see them. And I'm very proud to admit I'm their new driving billboard. "Get your Monkey Bob productions right here!" Yes Roey I know... I'm an idiot. Beat you to it... ass! but I love you! Anyways that's about it. Love you all and I wish you all good luck. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 28th, 2006
1:00 am	Clever So my friend Whitney came up with this and, not only did I find this very clever but, I thought it was very funny. And that's about it. Cry me a river Build me a bridge and then get the fuck over it! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
11:52 pm	How to stay Young 1. Try everything twice. On Madam's tombstone (of Whelan and Madam), she said she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice... loved it both times!" 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches). 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's! 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him/her. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is our self. Live while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, friends, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county or to a foreign country, but NOT a guilt trip. 10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity. "Good friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there" (Comment on this)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
12:10 pm	Menopause Jewelry So a friend sent this to me and I thought this was so funny. ----------------- My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. ----------------- Well more power to you women, you're always finding new ways to drop subtle hints on what you really want! lol. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
11:32 pm	It's pronounced "Jo Booty" Hey everyone! So I'm now back home getting ready for bed but am having a really hard time thinking about sleeping. I had such an amazing trip. First of all, everything was so much fun and everyone I met was so wonderful. Let me tell you there were people coming in and out of Ben's house twenty-four seven. It was wild but I like that kind of stuff. Ben has six brothers and sisters and then there are his two parents and one of his older sisters, Julie, has three kids of her own. So they were running around too. It was so cool, they made me feel right at home as one of the family. So Ben's brother and sisters are Julie, Jimmy, Andrea, Joel, Steven, and Arlene. Everyone was so much fun and honestly I felt almost "complete". Very, very cool. So I got to visit "Chicaga" (long story behind it, but I understand. lol) It was cold and windy... so technically it was freezing... at least for me, but amazing. Ben and I got to check out some very interesting museums. Including: the Science and Industry, the Aquarium, the Planetarium, and the Field museum. The Science and Industry museum actually had a human body that someone donated just to be cut into pieces so you could see what it looked like. Overall the Field museum was my favorite. It had a whole bird and animal section and I am very fascinated over animals of all kinds. But they also had artifacts and information on indians, and gems, and dinosaurs, and eskimos. The list could go on and on. Man, I loved my trip. I had a blast. Honestly I would love to still be in Indiana. It reminded me of Big Bear. Quiet, peaceful, relaxing. I needed this trip and I believe in the long run it's also gonna help me out with my future. During my trip I realized things I want to change. This trip allowed me to realize the positives and the negatives in my life that I really want to work on. At this moment in time I keep thinking how cool it would be to still be in Indiana, because I look at my present state and my mind keeps going back to what is going on here. Work, friends, family, issues overall. But overall I had a blast in Indiana, I can not think of one thing that I disliked there. And it was great to see Ben again. Ben's a cool guy and a good friend. Alright, well I better get to bed. I love you all and hopefully will see you soon. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
1:54 pm	Indiana So boys and girls I'm all the way in Indiana having a really good time. It's exciting and different... and very, very cold, but no snow. Mother nature mocks me. She knows that I hate the cold but would like to see snow. ... That bitch. lol So today is Ben's birthday and I found out it's also Elvis's b-day too. I guess that's pretty cool. lol, has no real importance to the story though. So his whole (or most) of his family and I went down to Chicago yesterday to visit this really cool museum. It was very amazing. It even had this body that was given to the place and they cut him up so you could see the insides. It was very cool, I guess some would say it was disgusting but I loved it. Oh by the way this is day three in my trip and it's going well. Nothing bad has happened and I'm hoping the fun continues. Tonight we are going to celebrate Ben's and is nieces birthdays and there will be about thirty people here. Yeah, I'm a little nervous about that. "Oh, Hi my name is Mike. I have no relation to the family, and most likely won't remember you so I'll just go back to drinking my H2O." lol. Well I guess that's about it for right now. Oh! This is pretty cool, they have a four story house and across the street they own another house. Sweet right? So Ben and I went over there and played Ping Pong the first night. I had fun. It's funny cause there is nothing around but just hanging around here is fun for me. He has six brothers and sisters and then there are his parents and then his older sister has three kids and then there have been some cousins around so the place always has people coming and going. It's a good trip. So I'm very glad I'm here. I don't think I would change anything except maybe the weather. *shakes fist at mother nature. Well since I'm on the fathers computer I guess I should get off before he needs it again. lol, yeah I think I already pissed of his parents a bit, but they'll get over it. How can someone stay mad at this beautiful face? lol... but I'm not gonna take the chance of them throwing me out and me having to stand out in the cold! Believe me the bears that live in the woods would come and find me and eat me alive. (you do know they can smell fear.) Alright boys and girls out in Cali... or where ever you are be safe, live long and go punch a tall person. It makes them feel better. Well at least it makes me feel better. Love, Indiana boy Mike. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
12:51 am	uhh... And I'm off... lol (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
5:20 am	my unexpected birthday So I just got home and I have to be up in about three hours so I just wanted to thank everyone that was apart of my birthday celebration. You guys are crazy... but I love you. lol. Thanks for making this the best unexpected birthday ever! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 2nd, 2006
10:22 pm	Life Lesson # 6 She put her hand on my arm. "What are you going to do?" I looked into her eyes. Did she want to know? Did she really want to know? No she didn't. That's why I'd been so angry. Not just at her. At all of them. Because they had kept their hands clean. They had pretended they didn't know I'd done something extreme. And when the truth was revealed to them, they made their disapproval know. Separated themselves from me. Made it clear I was deranged and out of control and so, unlike them. Why hadn't I fought back? Defended myself against accusations, insinuations of craziness? Did they approve of my actions? No. Only of their results. They needed my results. So why had I been carrying around all that guilt, all by myself? Why had I been shouldering so much of the pain? I looked at her face. It was a sweet face. It was wise, too. But still... I don't know... oddly innocent somehow. I'd been protecting her. Them. Helping to protect their innocence. Letting them see themselves as the good guys. It was a symbiotic relationship. Or codependent, whatever. They needed me to be the bad guy. And I needed them to be the good guy. See, if they were the good guys, and I was on their team, then that automatically made me a good guy, too. Even if I was different. In every group, and in every team there is what we call a bad/good guy. It's the person in the group that, willingly or not, will take that extra step across the line so the rest of team doesn't have to. So they don't become that "person". It's not a feeling, or even a thought, it's simply, a fact. Some talk about what needs to be done, and others... others do what need to be done. Even if it leaves a mess at the present state. It isn't simple to lead, or to be the good guy, and it's difficult to make the right decision. In the end everyone questions whether they made the right choices or actions. They ask the question we all ask, "Am I a good guy?" Someplace down our lives that question becomes shrouded in shadows. How can you define good, when some of the actions we take turn for the worse before becoming better? In our minds we tell us the answer we want to hear but our hearts always second guess. It's life. I think we all really know who's the bad/good guy in our little groups, and I think that, people in general, believe it's sometimes easier to let the other person take the extra step. My hands are tied, what about yours? "I don't think you can do it a second time," she said quietly. I felt all the old anger bubbling up. Why was she arguing? She knew what had to be done. Why was she pretending not to understand what had to be done? So she could sleep at night? So she could say "I tried to stop him, so it's not my fault?" So she could say "I didn't know." I looked her in the eyes. "I'm not sure I can, either. So will you do it?" Her face creased. Her mouth opened and closed. Her eyes flickered. "I don't know." She whispered finally. "I didn't think so..." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 23rd, 2005
4:48 am	To Chris: I salute you So the other night I was at work when I ran into an old team member. His name is Chris, he was one of my cart attendants. Not one of the best or brightest but a good kid. We became friends. His mother, Judy, also worked at Target, and both her and I became friends. Well for problems here and there Judy quit Target, but the real story behind this post is Chris. Chris quit Target because he joined the army. He has already gone through his boot camp and is now waiting to be shipped out to his first destination. So while we're talking he tells me that he put my name down as one of his "connections" or contacts (I guess that's the better word.) At first I didn't understand and asked him why they would call me, when he responded, they won't call you, they would come into Target dressed in uniform to inform me that Chris was either M.I.A. or Killed in action. I was shocked. I was worried. Writing this now is giving me the chills. I told him I better not every have that happen and he better be safe. He joked and said he wasn't sure if he should salute me... It amazes me that in such a short time I had an effect on someone so much that they want me to know this, that I'm one of his contacts. I feel honored, I feel good. I always wanted to help someone and make a difference and in a sense I feel a little accomplished. To Chris, you are brave, and wise, and will protect this country well. You deserve more. I wish you good luck and I thank you. Be safe. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, December 16th, 2005
10:44 am	The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" On Purpose! 1. Men are NOT mind readers 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. As for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 1. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one! 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. (we do that) 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really! 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, golf or camping. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Thank you for reading this. Men: I hope you had a good laugh. Women: I hope you had an even bigger laugh. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
3:30 pm	Role Call! So this is a pic of some of the amazing people I have met at Target and have become friends with! Starting with the left to the right. The wonderful Mike, Whitney, Melissa, Debbie, and Martin. The one laying across is Ben. I love them all. They have amazing traits, and well as always, we're all very different, but I love them. Alright, I guess that's it... really I wanted to post this so I could try this whole picture thing. Yeah, I know, I'm a computer wizard. lol. Now can someone show me how to sign off? http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c170/nightjagaur/049_49.jpg (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
12:25 pm	small... but good Of all the friends I've ever met, You're the one I won't forget. And if I die Before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you I'll give the angels back their wings And risk the loss of everything. Just to prove My friendship is true. (Comment on this)